RANT: "I have a job that has other functions to do"

no shit, really? so do i! that was what the useless office administrative assistant sent in an email to me this afternoon.

Admin assistants to the admin work, of the office, no? - hence the admin assistant title. Supplies, copying, printing, going through the mail, reciptionist duties, assembly of binders, conference room reservations, travel requests, et al. Her? Nope. She complains and bitches about how much better than this she is, how much work there is to do and what does she do? she sighs. ALLLLLL the fucking time. HEAVING DRAMATIC fucking sighs NON-STOP....specially if told to actually do her job.

Got a big huuuuuge training next week. Been denting my poor walls with my (now extraordinarily tender) forehead trying to translate official FEMA speak into english. this does get difficult as i am writing for gubmint personnel....this means it HAS to be detailed down to the point of "Click on File-Save to save document." And don't get me started on how to rename and save a document. they can't figure this shit out. and when it comes to entering information??? dear god, the directions SHOULD read:

• in the freaking table where is says to place a freaking "x" place a GODDAMN FUCKING X!

cause you know if i don't tell them that won't be able to complete the table. Sigh, not totally true but about 90% true.

So have been putting in full days and a couple of all-nighters, waste a morning waiting for boss who doesn't fucking show up cause it SNOWED!!! seriously people it snowed less than a FUCKING INCH at that point in the day(i.e. morning) and he can't drag his fucking ass in = wasted half a day on that shit.

Since then, Wednesday?, the boss developed a guilty conscience....specially once he realized that there has been no office support on the whole endeavor. So he tells his special lil' admin asst. she has to provide support in assembling the material...even over the weekend if it is required.....oooooh, them's fighting words for her....she needs to be at home terrorizing her children (god, don't get me started on that!!!)

so trying to be gracious, well honestly cause i soooooo don't want to have to put up with her this weekend...siiiigh, siiiiigh, HEAVING SIGH.....said there was no need, would assemble the minimum needed for monday and then do the rest during the week when not doing the training....makes sense, no? and by we, i mean ME cause i don't need to be listening to her being all passive aggressive about how much shit she has to do and how this is just tooooo much for her to do right now.

seriously i just don't need that. i know what i need to do, fine with doing it on my own - hell, i'll just blast ella and the duke on my computer, drink some bubbly and do what needs to be done. so in that frame of mind, sent her and the boss an email stating that there was no need for anyone to come in this weekend cept me to assemble only the binders needed for monday and finish up the rest during the week. and i get:

"I have a job with other functions to do. I can't waste any further time doing this."

sent only to me of course, not the boss....whom she fucking CCs on EVERYTHING.

i have a job with other functions to do. flabbergasted. she doesn't do ANY functions, hell she doesn't function as an admin assistant. and then that fucking tone...what? So snotty. Sooo "unlike YOU i have a job that is more important and all-encompassing than yours." Wha? huh?

let's just review this for a sec...... you're an admin assistant (and a bloody useless one at that) and hmmmm, my job? let me think about this, i develop program policy for an entire FUCKING department, function as departmental expert on the program responding to internal/external queries pertaining to the program, yada yad yada - yeah i am sooooo "important".....but gee, i guess that doesn't mean a damn thing to the admin assist. she has a job with "other functions to do" and mine is trivial.

Let's see what she does? hmmm, ummmm, let me think here....nothing? oh waaaait. she "covers" the bosss' ass...and i sooo don't even WANT to know all that entails cause what i DO know makes me queasy.....

"i have a job with other functions to do." yeah bitch, we all do.

god i could keep on going but i'd better stop. grrrrr. good thing i have pandora.com to listen to. thank god for them. they save me from going insanely bloodily ragingly postal.

not grinchy this time just still flabbergasted...." I have a job with other functions to do"

and god that was a particulary useless, pointless and depressing email. damn. gotta get better at this.